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I’ll go where you want me to go.

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It’s 2017. I’m an *almost* 27 year old “adult”, (I keep that word in quotations because if I don’t even know what the definition is, I can’t really say I am one 😉 ).

With that being said, I still feel as though I’m a little girl, afraid of what the cool kids will think of me or say about me if I do something they deem unworthy of being “on trend” or “progressive” enough.

What does that mean though? For a Mormon girl, what does that mean for me? Does that mean I should never mention my faith because that’s “so old fashioned”? Does it mean that I shouldn’t prefer, on some days, to listen to the archived conference talks over whatever’s playing on Pandora? Does it mean that I should schedule whatever I want on Sundays because keeping that day as a day of rest and a day for the Sabbath is not what people do anymore? Does it mean that I laugh at jokes that I don’t find funny because they are offensive to my faith or my values, just because everyone else in the room is laughing?

I feel as though that’s what the world is asking. Most of it anyways. (and truth be told, more often than not, by fellows Christians, no less).

And to be honest, I feel burdened with the guilt of the times I have gone against what I feel or know to be true because I was worried what someone would think of me if I told them I don’t make plans on Sunday, or when I chose to laugh at a joke that wasn’t funny because it truly was offensive to my faith and my values, because I was afraid of being the only one in the room who didn’t.

Over the past decade, especially the past few years, it has been harder and harder to admit to being a Mormon (or any other religion, as I have seen from my husband and friends who are of different faiths).

It’s not cool.
It’s not popular.
It’s not trendy.
It’s not what will give you the most “likes” on Instagram.

Does that mean I’m less than everyone else? Does it mean that I’m better than anyone else?

Does it mean I don’t mess up as much if not MORE than other people? Does it mean I don’t occasionally slip out a curse word? (Um, have you read my past blog posts?*) Does it mean that I am in a position to judge or be judged?

Being a Christian, a TRUE Christian does not mean automatic perfection and it does NOT mean I am given some hypothetical high horse I get to stand on and wave my finger at those who are doing life differently than me. And it certainly doesn’t mean I have to bow down to society and hold up a picket sign while I lay on the ground saying “I’m a Christian” so people can throw rocks at me.

All I need to know is that I love my Heavenly Father. I know that He loves me, too.  And because of that, I say to Him,

“I’ll go where you want me to go,
I’ll say what you want me to say,
I’ll do what you want me to do,
I’ll be what you want me to be.”
-Elder Robert D. Hales

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