Fact: I feel like 26 is closer to “death by old age” than what it really is, which is….still flipping young.
I stress myself out too much, you know? It’s so boring. Or should I say annoying. Thank heavens I have Jon to talk to because I can say things out loud to him and as soon as I hear the sound of it, I realize how ridiculous I’m being and he can help me sort through those thoughts and rearrange them into something more productive (or he’ll just tell me flat out that I’m being ridiculous and then make me laugh over something stupid). And I’d like to say the same goes for him? Who knows though, I tend to overthink and complicate. But, sometimes it’s easier to find logic and solution to someone else’s predicament rather than my own. Maybe it’s because of the emotional attachment. When you don’t have it, you can see clearly what needs to be done. When you have it, when the emotion is clouding your judgment, it seems like there is no solution.
I’m either learning or just becoming more and more aware of the fact that God knows me waaaaaaaay better than I know myself. I mean, the separate journeys that Jon and I both went on during our adolescence, the roads we traveled down that ultimately drew us together (as painful and confusing as they were at times), are littered with little moments that were exactly what each of us needed to find each other. It’s almost spooky when I lay it all out on the roadmap of our life (not lives, life as in “the one we’ve created together”). And then throw Edyn into the mix and it gets even more curious.
And on top of all of it, thank heavens for having a kid who was somehow, against all odds, born with this innate ability to overcome. She is 4 and yet she has more confidence, self-love, humor, compassion and selflessness than most adults I know (including myself). She is independent, sassy, fearless, and so hilarious. I knew being a parent would be great (and I’m sure all parents say what I’m about to say but I’m going to say it anyways because I DO WHAT I WANT….right?) but I legitimately lucked out in the build-a-human department. She reminds us to be silly, she has the best humor and can pull a prank like nobody’s business. She reminds us to be faithful and will never let us eat a meal or fall asleep without saying our prayers. She reminds us that the world is never done being explored. She reminds us to be patient and kind to everyone. Anyways, her spirit and her energy just rock my world.