I’ve actually been allowing myself to be human. To find a gentleness for myself, to encourage my own curiosity, to find forgiveness in labeling myself “flawed” all these years.
To recognize that which has past and that which has changed me, to find an appreciation for the pain I’ve kept close for so long and to learn to be patient with it as it continues to shape me.
I suddenly became aware of my own hypocrisy as I would teach Edyn to embrace the mistakes and laugh along the way because I would chastise and ridicule myself for the very things I preached could be a lesson for her.
We take classes, we hire therapists, we spend hundreds if not thousands of dollars to attend seminars, all because we need someone else to tell us it’s ok to actually like ourselves (and by “we”, I… mean …me). At some point in our lives, probably starting from a young age, someone told us something about ourselves and we believed it. And then again, and again, and eventually we’re grown %&* adults looking in the mirror and wondering who we’re supposed to be.
Whatever point you’re at in your life, whether you’re a teenager struggling to find your identity, and adult still needing validation, if you’re happy with who you are, if you don’t know who you are, if you’re on the same journey I’m on…embrace it.
Self discovery is magical. It takes time, it demands patience, sometimes it has its setbacks, some days you wake up and say “I’m kicking butt at this. I know who I am and I’m so freakin’ positive!”, and then by lunchtime you’re staring into your bowl of soup wondering how your life turned out this way. It’s all ok. Take every one of those moments as they come, acknowledge them, become aware of what you need, nurture yourself.