Spilling my guts again…

It sounds infantile but I just don’t think it’s fair.

We’re stuck with gum on the soles of our shoes and we’re not going anywhere so we just tilt our heads slightly so as not to accidentally meet the eyes of anyone around us while we spout off our opinions based off of falsities that are exploding with intentions for attention because we’re too chicken to actually have to answer for the things that we say or the things that we do.

We don’t treat each other well, not at all. We’re all hypocrites, we’re all cowards, we’re all bully’s. You say you stand up for tolerance and stand up for the differences and the unique attributes each individual holds claim to, but how you show it?

So what if you don’t wear makeup and so what if you wear it. So what if you create with paint or you create with words or you create by procreating or create by banking or financing or counseling or stock-broking. You can’t have friends because they don’t look like you or talk like you? But you can’t have friends who do what you do because it’s all just competition, right? It shouldn’t have to be. There’s a pertinent word missing from our vocabulary called “support”. I miss hearing it, I miss receiving it, and I, honestly, need to give it much, much more.

We can’t have relationships without stipulations and there isn’t giving without getting if there’s giving at all. And I’m so damn angry at the world for all of the hatred but I’m too much of a coward to stand up for it when I’m in it so I just laugh on the outside while I’m screaming on the inside because what would happen if they saw me without a smile while everyone else is laughing at the expense of someone else? Would they confront me? And then would I just combust?

And what gives you the right to post a video professing your love for humanity and how we, as a whole, need to treat our world better, lift each other up and stop pulling each other down, but once the “likes” and praises and “you’re such a good person” chants have slowed, your skin will burn with the need for more so you’ll post another one of some stranger and their hair-do that you don’t like with some caption that capitalizes on the “offensiveness” of their uniqueness and you put them down and you throw your knives at them and you get your laughs and then you DARE say “love always wins”.

You don’t get to draw the outline of your body with chalk just to lay down in it and shout “VICTIM” if you don’t give everyone the same amount of love and respect that you say you need. You don’t get to shoot someone in the foot for being a bigot while you whimper that you can’t be around someone because of their belief in God.

And it’s ironic that I’m so angry while, between the lines, telling people to stop being so angry.

But I’m just losing hope that we will change. I’m losing hope that the leaders of the world have the capability to unite our nations and losing even more hope in the ability that anyone would listen if they tried because, authority?! WHAT IS THAT?! “ANARCHY!” Right? Wrong.

There’s actually a real live world out there, like a living, breathing, fully inhabited WORLD that we’re trashing and for what?



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