I remember coming to and my eyes attempting to focus on a speck of some left over crumb on the floor. My head ached. My eyes ached. My heart ached the most. I closed my eyes again and gave it my best shot to lose consciousness again. I spent the next 6 months trying to lose consciousness again. To no avail.
The majority of the details never came back to stare me in the face, but the few, the ones that counted…
They haunt me, even now.
When I’m by myself, when silence is abundant and loneliness just the same, that’s when it comes. It peaks it’s head through the crack in the door that I so foolishly left open inside my thoughts. And then, before I even have the time to arm myself, it’s smothering me so entirely that breathing suddenly becomes a foreign concept and my brain may as well combust, there is so much pressure inside of it.